From Earth To Heaven, With Love.

I don't want to get too emotional. I just want to write something from my chambered organ that's my heart. I feel like the times I spent together with you was short. But that's what life is all about, isn't it? You win some and then lose some. Anyway, I don't want to make this post too long than it already is. Wherever you are, Mommy, I know you don't want us to feel misery or sadness at your absence, because even you if are not present here on earth, you are in some safe place where no sickness or danger could harm you, watching us, feeling pain in our misery, laughing at our eccentricities, crying when we are feeling lonely. You are there when we are happy and you are there when we feel alone, even if we don't know it. And that is enough to make me feel that you didn't really went away. You are everywhere.

We miss you everyday, Mommy! I would wish you everything a person could possibly ever wish for someone who is already in heaven, but I know you've got everything you want in the company of Allah, and the fact that you know we are happy is what makes you feel contented.

And yes, I want to let you know mommy that I am happy wherever I am. :)

I Should Be Sleeping..

Oh, hi. It's you. You can't sleep to, huh? Me too. Or just pretty bored that you stumbled upon my blog? Well, I'm glad you did because I need someone to listen. I don't have anyone to talk to right now. I just broke up with my bf through text which is a pretty lame thing to do, but he's far away, and he's the only one I could really talk to. Yeah, I love him, but I hated him this morning. I don't wanna go into the details, but I'm angry at him, and I didn't really had a decent sleep, so whatever little mistake he did has such a massive effect on me, so yeah, I ended up telling him I don't want him anymore. And I cried, a lot. I've been crying a lot because of him, not because he did me wrong, but he hurts me without intending to. Maybe I'm just really an over emotional person, which is, FYI, true. It makes me sad to think that when I lose him totally (oh yeah, did I say that "I" broke up with him?He didn't want to, but he's not talking to me now) and he's the only one I could really talk to, and he, on the other hand, has a lot of friends he could call and ask to hangout with, and I think it's a little unfair. He made good friends through out his life, while I suck at choosing friends, and now I don't really have someone, because my only good friends who I can talk to is faraway. So that's why I ended up here. Thank you for listening. I still have to try talking to my BF, because I don't really want to lose him. Yeah I love him. We've been together for almost 5 months, but we started hanging out in September and we never really stopped since then. And oh, did I mention that he is the first good friend I made that I'm really proud of, because he is cool and got a good taste or judgement, which is maybe why I fell for him in the first place.  So anyway, I went to bed at around 10 earlier, but 1 hour later, I woke up to find myself sobbing, thinking of ghosts from my past and that I really am about to lose him, so I checked my phone but, no message from him so I went online to find someone to talk to or something to distract me. I'm glad my good friend replied on my message, but it was hours ago and she might be already asleep right now. Anyway, I really am a f*cked up person.I need to get a grip of myself and my life. To my dearest boyfriend and close friend, I love you and I don't really want to lose you. I just want our problems to disappear. Or maybe MY problems to disappear.

Sincerly, Me.

Social Networks

To anyone who visit this page, please visit my updated profiles: facebook.com/jellybaifish, twitter.com/iyalittlenoodle, theragdoll.tumblr.com, and formspring.me/jellypishbai :)

Before I hit the sack.. I present, tada! My first ever blog entry on my "Adventures of a Fickle-minded" blog.

So yeah. This is my first entry before I visit my dream (or nightmare) world again. Soooo, instead of staying up all night rewinding the things that happened to me in my mind or visualizing the things I want to happen to me, I will write them here. So yeah, this acts like a window to my soul, or your key to my pretty little fickle mind. I made soooo many blogs in the past, but I just got tired of them all because I didn't kick off a good start, but maybe this will be my final and no-holds-bar, the best blog I will make in my entire history. So, dear reader, who ever you are. My friend, stranger, mother, brother, father, future husband, future daughters and sons, grandchildren, and you (yes, you!)... Prepare for a journey full of adventures/misadventures, sad/happy accidents, nonsense blah-blahs, indecisive thinking, non-stop complain about the world we live in, chaotic thoughts, inspiring stories, great discoveries, prepare to be like a therapist who listens unconditionally, gives advice (through comments), prepare to be a friend who loves dearly, prepare to be sister which I don't have, be my mother who nags, a father who disciplines, or a brother who criticizes, in other words, prepare yourself for the best (or WORST) journey (or blog) written like no other blogs I've ever written. In short, welcome to my hell or heaven of a world. <3

Lots of love,
Me.